Control

I'd tell you that we were out this past cycle, but I'm beginning to sound like a broken record. In a few days we will be in another tww and to be honest, I'm not so sure I care to try this month. Our official plan is to try on our own until January and then possibly go straight to IVF in the Czech Republic. It's much more affordable there ($5,000 as opposed to $10-12 here) and it would be a nice getaway. However, because we haven't actually be told what is causing our infertility I'm hesitant to try IVF and find out we have another or multiple factors against us. We also lost our insurance and took a huge pay cut so we can't afford to do much for a little while. I don't know what to do- do we switch REs and hope they can give us some answers? Do we just find a new OB trained in fertility? Do we sack the whole plan and just get another puppy? I don't know what the future holds, and I hate it. I'm a bit of a control freak- I like to control what happens, how they happen and when. I have zero control over anything in my life right now, and it is sending me spiraling to the a state of depression I have never thought possible. I'm wondering if we should just stop trying until we are more financially stable. I could take the next couple of months and lose all my stress weight I've put on and feel better about myself and be healthier for the possible IVF baby.  I don't really know... I just feel so lost. I feel hopeless. I feel like we will never have answers. I feel like I'm losing control- emotionally, physically and mentally.